Between the darkminds.com project and this one (romantictorment.com), I must admit I’m spent at the moment. Few hours of sleep and days upon days of work will do that to ya though. I don’t mind. These are passions of mine, and therefore its easy for me to consider them well worth the time investment. It’s hard to believe I’ve accomplished all this in a little over one year, especially when you consider prior to all this I was lost in the MMORPH game called World Of Warcraft for years on end.
“Welcome back to reality, Romantic Torment.” Why, thank you…
So with groundwork established, and the sky seeming to be the limit, I now have to consider marketing strategies and options. Where to go from here? Both of the projects have always been a self-indulgence of sorts, but having worked on both long enough I recall now why I ever began to begin with: creativity and expression. There is something really powerful in a message when someone tells you they’re still writing to this day because darkminds.com or myself have somehow influenced them. It leaves me speechless every time. So, with so much creativity flowing around, I’m beginning to realize that there is a potential for growth and financing in all this that could help support it and my living outside the dull aspects of “a job.” Still, I feel much of this is still speculation and day-dreams. But then again….a little over a year ago both projects were but a “day-dream,” and looking at it now vs. then ….I’m floored.
Now that darkminds.com has thoroughly been flushed out, I feel like I can take a step back and breath. I get a feverish, obsessive, and perfectionist mentality when it comes to a project I love, and can often push myself past exhaustion. Once I’m fully recharged, I have plans to begin pushing forward on promoting this site and darkminds.com, with the hopes to draw more like-minded creativity and souls together. But, for once now, I’m gonna sit back and simply enjoy the fruits of my labor for a lil while. Just ….a’lil while.
- End Transmission
Currently Listening To: “Nothing Else Matters,” by Apocalyptica (original score by Metallica)
Journal Entry: May 30th, 2010
The day was so good, but the night brings me contemplations which I may have been better left without. Some thoughts, no matter the distance, no matter the time, have an amazing way of haunting the mind. (Do they not?) I thought myself numb, and yet these feelings and emotions would have me reconsider. The past rushes to greet me like some lost long friend, while the future torments me with unknown and uncertainty; ever waiting for me to make decisions I’m reluctant to decide. This reminds me of a quote, that went something like: “better to have acted upon a choice, rather to make none at all.” The meaning is there; even if you make a bad choice, it’s ok. It would have been far worse to have made no choice at all. So, knowing this, how do I manage to endure keeping myself chained? I am in dead stagnant waters that are threatening my future, and as tiresomely as I try to awake from the horrible nightmare, somehow, someway, it always seems to drag me back down into its depths of misery and self-loathing. It all seems so trivial and pathetic, and yet here I am the one enduring it. Talk about running around in circles. (heh) I have run out of excuses.
If you haven’t had the opportunity to listen to the song (see above) I’m currently listening to, I highly suggest you take a moment to do so. A blissful remake of a classic Metallica song. I find it so beautiful, breath-taking, and emotionally inspiring that, I’m convinced, left me a poorer soul before discovering it. It relays my current mood in such ways that words cannot. In fact, if words could be jealous, then they would be, for this piece is just that damn impactful and heartily felt. Perhaps there is a message there, that no matter the length of past, present, or future to which I endure to make sense of….ultimately, nothing else matters, as in the present moment.
Enough. I’ve no desire to share more. It’s all just too painful and frustrating, and I want a vacation from all of this. *sighs* G’eve.
Beauty of the diversity in souls. Beauty in all its endless wonders to be found in this world and universe. These remain the foundations of my serenity and sanity. As for the rest? Heh….
Where do I go from here? I’m in Love with you, and I don’t even know who you are yet! Matters of the heart plague me unrelenting, and lately I’ve been altogether tired of it. Loathing around in some cesspool of sorrow and disappointment, over not having this or that, was my old way of co-existing and dealing with it. Now, I’ve a numb indiscreet neutrality perspective to it all. “It is what it is,” and, “what will be will be,” attitude about some of the things I cannot seem to directly influence or change, no matter how hard I’ve attempted or tried.
It seems counter-productive to waste my energy on matters outside my immediate control. So, for now, I continue to bide my time and focus on myself. Just …know I’m out here…waiting for you. With so much love to give. Till then…. *closes eyes and listens to Mortal Love (music band)*
Eternally,
Romantic Torment
~~~{~~{~{@
I almost forgot the captivating allure creativity brings to my soul. I nearly gave it up, and practically denied myself of it for so many years. Countless ideas lost upon a sea of ignorance and procrastination, yet I do my best not berate myself too much for it. And, while distractions remain, I’m getting better at letting nothing detour me from this over-whelming urge to share and mingle – with anyone that may wander here.
I must admit a sense of pride has been instilled in me. Ahh! To finally have a place to organize, collect, and share my creativity; it only provokes within me the desire to create more and more! It truly is amazing what each of us is capable of achieving, when we dismiss the distractions and excuses we often fall prey upon.
Now, with the time I’ve invested to explore this site’s presentation and optional plug-ins, I am excited with the prospect of spending more time adding and creating new content for it. I hope, as time progresses, that many more will come to enjoy their visit here. Perhaps, even my own creativity will inspire their own!
So it is that the comforting darkness once again blankets my soul, and whispers to my heart; bidding me to create anew what once was, and reflect upon all the beauty that is its’ art. I hope to convey a sense of hope within a seemingly hopeless world, and that for a moment one may feel they’re not so alone. Blessed be you beautiful shadows of the night. I remain eager to hear from you.
Eternally,
Romantic Torment
~~~{~~{~{@
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