Journal Entry: 6:03 AM / 02.09.2007
Current Mood: Disappointed
Category: Romance and Relationships
In the last six months of my romancing, I can honestly say that I’ve been burned pretty hard by a few girls that I mistakenly thought were a woman. That I saw potential in going so much further. Eh, whatever. Live and learn. Pity party over. What’s ironic is women can’t stand boys, and yet men like myself are suppose to put up w/ you girls and your bullshit? Yeh, back at ya ladies. I’d like a woman to step up, and the girls sit down.
If you’d like to be kicked off your fucking high horse I’m available for said kicking 24/7….
What adds injury to the insult of someone high-tailing themselves out of your life is the fact that they think ignorance and silence is bliss, or that there is some sort of justification for the brash immaturity of their actions. Rather then just being a mature civilized human being and giving another mature civilized being a bit of explanation and understanding on why the sudden shift in a relationship (friendship or otherwise)….(which is what friends do …ya know , share and get through it …)…they assume, presume, and make decisions for you, them, and you’re left in the dark.
To hell with your silence, assumptions, and ignorance. Step back from your own self-absorbed world for one fucking moment, and listen:
“What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do”
I’m not sure which part hurts and pisses me off the most. The not knowing where something that was so seemingly perfect one day goes and falls out from underneath you the next. Or, the idea that someone could be so comfortable with them self after giving an empty, hollow, and saving-face “I’m sorry” just so their consciousness can rest a little easier at night, and that they’re OK w/ just discarding everything into some misc. piss pot.
How do some people live with themselves? How do they get by with just shoving shit under the rug (so-to-speak)? It’s beyond me, and yet for all the hell it does me for being pissed off with another persons actions…me being who I am….I can’t help but wish them well because I cannot harbor within me the ability to hate. Sometimes, I almost wish I could…..
I dedicate the following song to ….eh, she should know who she is….You reap what you sow, and you let something damn good slip through your hands. No one is perfect. You’re no exception, and neither am I.
======================================================
RASCAL FLATTS LYRICS
What Hurts The Most
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do
It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
Not seeing that loving you
That’s what I was trying to do
Ooohhh….
