In The End, Nothing Really Matters
Author: G.C.M. (aka Romantic Torment)
Written: 8-16-09
Revised: 8-25-09
In the end it doesn’t really matter;
everything done is undone.
So what’s it really matter in the end?
I’ve tried so hard,
but the effort goes on wasted.
The memories remain,
haunting me endlessly upon sleepless nights.
What am I left to hope for,
when everything has been raped from me?
Why bother to struggle,
when everything I touch crumbles apart in my hands?
In the end it doesn’t really matter;
everything done is undone.
And nothing really matters in the end.
© 2009 by G.C.M. (aka Romantic Torment)
It wasn’t always within my rights…
At times I am outside myself, looking in, reflecting on the choices I have made. Specifically those that brought me to the point of where I am now. All this time wasted, discarded, or used abusively. Leaving me parched. Thirsty for more, and yet somehow I feel like I’m sufficating to death. A soul’s oppression, turned riot, by the immoral choices I’ve made perhaps?
Are we all similar in a world half gone mad? How many of us are utilizing our time here on this planet wisely?
I descend into a cynical frame of mind…..
Beauty of the diversity in souls. Beauty in all its endless wonders to be found in this world and universe. These remain the foundations of my serenity and sanity. As for the rest? Heh….
Where do I go from here? I’m in Love with you, and I don’t even know who you are yet! Matters of the heart plague me unrelenting, and lately I’ve been altogether tired of it. Loathing around in some cesspool of sorrow and disappointment, over not having this or that, was my old way of co-existing and dealing with it. Now, I’ve a numb indiscreet neutrality perspective to it all. “It is what it is,” and, “what will be will be,” attitude about some of the things I cannot seem to directly influence or change, no matter how hard I’ve attempted or tried.
It seems counter-productive to waste my energy on matters outside my immediate control. So, for now, I continue to bide my time and focus on myself. Just …know I’m out here…waiting for you. With so much love to give. Till then…. *closes eyes and listens to Mortal Love (music band)*
Eternally,
Romantic Torment
~~~{~~{~{@
Let The World Burn
Author: G.C.M. (aka Romantic Torment)
Revised: 7/12/09
I’ve lived in fantasies.
I’ve lived in dreams.
I’ve lived in lies.
(I live in hell!)
I vicariously lived through video games,
along with movies and music too.
I even vicariously lived through you.
I built an image out of everything
that only amounts to nothing.
I envy the world of Hollywood without me,
and I’m disgusted that I even care.
I was never what I truly wanted,
always so lost within myself.
I was never completely stable,
tangled up with my enigmatic mental health.
All I ever wanted was to belong,
and to be found wanting by my peers.
All I ever wanted was to love,
and to feel that sweet kiss returned.
Yet, for all the littered hearts scattered about my floor;
I remain cold and uncaring.
Trapped in a prison of self loathing
over my appetite for the beauties I can’t seem to have.
Resentment builds into contempt,
and the whole fucking system comes crashing down.
(Fuck their disinterest and blind sightedness.
They deserve their piss poor excuse of a mate!
Fuck their lack of self worth and self esteem issues,
break the mirror and burn your god damn magazines!)
Infuriated by my inability to control
the outcome of my interests,
I fester in a pool of misery and rage.
Burning hot with its’ intensity,
only to be frozen by a disregard to care.
*****
I remain heart-broken to have learn
that the morals and values society proliferates in its media
is nothing more then a nostalgic day-dream
of the righteous human being we fabricated into existence.
That we, as a society, have become complacent and receptible
to a new-founded culture of dogmatic views, arrogant decadence,
and our ambulatory Will rapped by its own Government;
which we willingly accept with a smile full of tears running down our ignorant faces.
Why else do we hold “Heroes” in such high esteem?
Why are they so revered to a culture that thrives in drama, fear, and laziness?
They do what we can’t do as a society.
What we won’t do as a society.
What we our afraid to act upon as a society…
too scared and appalled at the potential risk to self and family
which “They” impose upon our seemingly perfect little world
in our supposed perfect little existence
within our tiny little bubble of supposed freedom.
It all amounts to shit and bullshit.
Lies and deceit. Greed and power.
And I’m drowning in all this fucking filth!
Mother needs to flush it all away.
Send it all away.
We don’t deserve to remain here anymore.
We don’t deserve to be here anymore.
I hope I’m around to watch the world burn.
(Fuck it all.)
© 2009 by G.C.M. (aka Romantic Torment)
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