Journal Entry 1, April 28, 1998
My first entry. Hmm…makes me feel as if I need to make this good so that others will take the time to read on. But, no. I have made these web pages, and the last thing I feel like doing is pleasing others within my own writings here. Feeling better already…hehehe.
I have notice that the darkness has continued its assault on my mind. It is relentless, this I swear! Upon every time I open my eyes unto this world again, it lingers, tormenting and tempting me to partake into its’ false truths of satisfying glory. The darkness only cares so far for others, this I have learned. And yet, I am a part of this darkness I so much enjoy and yet shudder from.
I find it odd how quick to swing my emotions are inside this flesh. Almost like two contradicting sides. If one sides to hate, the other is there with love. Swing to darkness, and light presents itself equally to match this darkness I so do proclaim to have claimed my soul, mind, and body. Sometimes I think this a good think, for would it not seem as though this would give a calm, fine line of balance between all forces that are apart of this relative world? Ahhh, but that is wherein lies insanity, and plenty of it.
Humph. Insanity, a word to explain the reality of us all. For if we know love threw knowing hate, then do we not know sanity from experiencing insanity. As I often say, ‘We are all insane trying to live a sane life within an insane world.’ I love that quote of mine.
I have also come to notice that of lately, I have been searching for a partner. I am not sure to what extent this stretches out to, but there has been this desire for sometime. Yet, even with this hunger, I enjoy my freedom to swoon and romance whom I choose to, and to my personal pleasing do I give homage. But, I can not ignore these urgings forever. Where is my dark mate?!?!
AHHHHH, I can’t take this!
© 1998 – 2009 by G.C.M. (aka Romantic Torment)
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