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Song: Over And Under
Band: Egypt Central

I know you’ll be there
To see the tables turning
Wake up tomorrow
And watch the bridges burning

Pre-chorus:
I can see
I can see it in your eyes
I can feel
I can feel it in my mind
I don’t care
I don’t care if you realize
What you see
What you see in my eyes

Chorus:
I’m over me being under you
I’m breaking free I’m breaking through

I’ve overcome all I’m underneath
I can finally stand
I can finally breathe

Remember when we
First had the thought of living

A perfect picture
But I did all the giving
Gave up my passions
To try to make you happy
The joke is over
And I’ll do all the laughing

2 x Repeat Pre-chorus

2 x Repeat Chorus

Seriously?! I mean, what the fuck society?!?!! We permit this to happen to others? The repercussions and devastation this can have upon someone is enormous and tragic. Honestly? It’s all bullshit, and infringes upon our rights of FREEDOM OF SPEECH! Score one more point for the up-and-coming “New World Order.” Enjoy your illusion of freedom tonight everyone. *Whispers* Wake up!!!

dooced

To have all social hell break loose when people you know and/or family members finally find and read your blog.

“I went throgh a lot of trouble to keep my blog anonymous. It’s just not worth getting dooced.”

Source: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dooced

I’m working on various projects right now. Expect more soon.

P.S.

Insomnia is a bitch. Later.

Eternally,
Romantic Torment
~~~{~~{~{@

Broken fragments of my broken dreams
lie scattered across the floor
I’m forced to walk barefoot across.
Yet, I’m numb to the obvious pain.

I remain caught in the undertow
of idolizing my failures
with such precision and fascination
that even a masochist would avoid; yet adore.

They cut into the heart of me,
and tears are a luxury expense
I can no longer afford.
These wounds just won’t seem to heal.

I’ve been alone all this time.
I’ve pushed everyone away.
I’ve created this madness.
Yet, I cannot seem to end this sadistic “game.”

And now I’m face to face with my nightmares,
and my fears have polluted my soul beyond repair.
Tired and languished,
yet lingering on without a care.

Heaven’s a daydream,
hell is a lie.
There is only the purgatory
we ourselves create.

But I’ve lost my key,
and trapped inside am I.
Suffering the torment,
that I alone devised.

Devil’s dance and angel’s cry,
over the cost of my selfish pride.
All my devotion betrayed,
my innocence long since dead;
I’m left hollow inside.

Demented in this passionless torment.
Walls remain fortified.
All access denied.
Self inflicted justice prevails.
Defied and abused, love remains a sin.

I started thinking bigger. I began to think broader (not just about her situation or mine). I started thinking why so many of us have defenses up - especially as we get older. It suddenly occurred to me that perhaps, as we get older, we’ve been conditioned from our past to not be so quick to jump into a relationship. We’ve been hurt. We’ve been scared. We’ve had our heart broken into pieces, left alone, and forced to pick up what pieces remain and glue them back together again. We make promises to ourself to never let it happen again.

Now, once we’ve created this nice defensive position and we’re all trenched in - why leave this blanket of protection and “comfort?” But then fate throws us a curve ball, and we meet someone. The next thing we know it’s six months (7 months, a year, etc) later and they utter the words: “I love you.”

ERRRRRRRRRR…. *tire scretching noise* WHAT?! Alarms go off. Sirens whistle. MAN THE WALLS!

Perhaps a bit dramatic, but you get the point. This opens up a new door, and a floor of questions rush in. “Do I say it back?” “How do I REALLY feel about THIS person?” “Can we really go alllllllll the way onto marriage?!” The questions are practically endless, and suddenly they find themselves in a quandary. Perhaps they want to reply, they want to answer your questions about the future, but they haven’t reached that next step. Up until now, that partner was just perfectly content on the road of happiness you were riding, and hadn’t reached that “pit stop.” The moment of clarity you had one morning, afternoon, or night that told you that you were in love hadn’t dawned on them yet. But, with three words you just laid it out - right in front of them - and now they can’t help but to dwell in on it.

When you utter these words to your partner, and they get skittish, leery, or a bit weird - think about it. Maybe they’re just reacting that way because years ago they put their heart out on the line (perhaps multiple times), and in the end got hurt. So, rather then being quick to jump into it, they practice caution. They ask for some space, or time to think things out. They ponder this and that, and perhaps whether or not they’re seeing the real you, or a future “togetherness” in the picture. After all, most of us act quite different in the first 4-6 months of a relationship, before we relax enough with a partner and start letting our real character traits “shine” through. When the real you begins to emerge. Now, for some this happens faster or slower than for others. For them, seeing the real you and finding themselves in you and with you, might take 6 months to a year, or even longer, before they can start lowering down those defenses and feel comfortable enough to derive to those three beautiful words you found: “I love you!”

And so, that was my epiphany. That, all this is taking place and happening consciously or subconsciously - to ourselves and with others. But, with a little time, patience, and faith; perhaps there exists a happy ending for both hearts at stake. One thing is for certain: young love is priceless as it is heartbreaking, but if we can overcome the pain, disappointment, and bitterness over the loss of what can never be, then perhaps just maybe - just maybe - we too can love and be loved again in what can be.

Goodnight.

Eternally,
Romantic Torment
~~~{~~{~{@

(Not edited. I’ll review this later and reword it if some parts are jumbled. Late and tired. Hope this makes sense and you enjoy!)

I am forced to face
the reality of who I am inside.

And I hate what I have become,
but I cannot undo the past.

It molded me into this beast,
and I cannot apologize for that.

The Fates weave their tangled webs,
and lay our paths entwined.

So, forgive me beautiful if I do not cry
For all tears are spent and I’m resolved.

And, forgive me beautiful if I do not amend
for the error of my ways speak the part.

I’m simply a product of produced reality,
harsh environment and little choice had I.

I cannot erase the bitter memories,
I cannot unbind my rage.

All I see is madness,
all I see is a morbid masquerade.

So, I bid adieu to you sweet lady,
with delicious givings more blissful then Heaven.

Yes, ’tis best I leave you now,
and take my dark thoughts far away.

Afterall, I could not bare to witness you letting go of me,
whose sparkling eyes will surely dull with my impending absence.

So, Goodbye my sweet sweet nightingale!
Goodbye my sweet blissful bodily heaven!

Carry on! Carry on!
Cry not! Cry not!

**********************

Be damned I might as well be,
to never see the worth of me she sees.

Knowing that I could never truly have her.
I weep. I weep.

Walking away into darkness I do,
to wherever the Fates aspire me anew.

And hello once more do I bid,
to my romantic torment I had foolishly thought fled.

~ Added and revised “My Links”

~ Finally found a way to organize “Archives” by YEAR >>> Month thanks to “flexo-archives-widget”!

~ More quotes added into rotation as well.

~ Added a XML add-on module that will help Yahoo, Google, and other search engines dissect romantictorment.com more efficiently by creating a XML sitemap.

~ Other behind the scenes stuff

But, then I look around.
I look outside my window right now, and the beauty of night renders me speechless
….and I am reminded that its all worth it in the end.
Even if to taste this bitter sweet moment for a little while.
It’s something, and I’ll hold onto it as long as i can,
and embellish senses as deep as I’m able;
hopefully ending up intoxicated off the splendors i might uncover in this life,
and curing any notion of boredom I previously may have had.

Goodnight.

Eternally,
Romantic Torment
~~~{~~{~{@

All the sacrifices made
amount to nothing,
and if nothing lasts forever,
will you be my nothing?

Preach your lies, banish the truth,
and absolve your guilty consciousness.
Responsibility discarded,
absolution denied,
you were always empty inside
And I was too blinded
by my lust turned love for you.

I put faith in you
I trusted you.
I gave you everything I had to give,
and everything still won’t be enough for you.

Consumed by your hunger
driven by your anger
you’ll never be sated
you’ll never be satisfied.

So I abolish my love for you,
I emptied my cup of lust for you.
I erased all those pretty words you said,
and broke the bond that held us enraptured.

I left you a mirror
so you’d be captivated with yourself.
Taste another sip from your glass of self envy,
and try not to suffocate on your own ego.

I’m leaving you behind,
all you did was hold me back.
I’m finally free of you,
and I’m not looking back.