Romantic Torment

My soul cries out for you as well my love. It does every moment I must endure without you. I am incomplete without you at my side, in my arms. I know the lack of warmth you speak of. I feel it even now. It lingers in my heart without you near. It clutches at my soul. You are my fire, my warmth, my everything.

I love hearing you speak to me with such words. So bold, so blunt, so delicious and erotic. You only intensify my desire for you. My hands crave to ignite your flames of passion by touching every curve of your body slowly, tenderly, with patience unbound. How I cannot wait to dance my tongue down between your parted thighs and taste your sweet nectar drip off your glistening lips, as your hips rock up against my wanting mouth harder and harder with a lusting desire begging to be satisfied. Then, sliding back up your naked body to kiss you deeply as my shaft parts your now swollen and aroused lips, thrusting into the depths of your love, lost in that ocean of wet comforting warmth.

And the thought of you tasting me, dripping into the back of your throat, lingering on that tantalizing tongue of yours, and the warmth of my seed, my love, dripping from such an innocent, angelic, beautiful face…the very thought practically sends me out of control *faints from the overwheleming pleasurable thought* You draw out my primal side kitten…I want you. Cum play.

Revised/Edited: No
Final Version: Undecided

The past is what I’m living today,
wondering about tomorrow’s yesterday,
which makes that present time,
the only moment thought divine.
But taken for granted
by a mind that cannot ignore
the painful inflictions of the past occurred.
So why bother living today,
when my mind is stuck on yesterdays?
I’ve broken down inside,
there’s nothing left to find.
All emotion drained from me,
I’m numb in a world casted in shades of gray.
Why can’t these hurtful memories that make me up,
just fade away
And that which I am be remade,
restructured only by what is today.
A redesign in a flawed model,
to better tomorrows self.

Edited/Revised: No

I woke up today,
and took a look in the mirror,
An image quiet not myself,
stared quietly back at me vindictively.

My eyes reflected all the pain inside,
and forced me to see myself.
I swore to myself I’d always be in control,
yet now everything is anything but.

I’m numb to the world around me.
I feel like there’s nothing left to do.
Something has been removed from me,
misplaced and lost somewhere in the past.

I cannot find a place to belong.
Denied myself, denounced myself.
It’s hard to fit in,
when I can’t even feel comfortable in my own skin.

Stuck on yestuday,
no progress made today on tomorrows self
And all I can do is let go,
and drown the truth in ignorance.

It doesn’t make sense,
but then again nothing ever did.
That’s the tragic shame of a mind
that complexes everything.

I try to find something to hold on to,
anything to keep me from losing more of myself,
but there’s nothing holding me back,
and I’m frightened by the fact I’m ready to just let go.

Fade back into myself,
deny the world around me.
It’s easier to feel nothing,
than deal with these ramped emotions.

I step away from the mirror,
random thoughts erased.
“Control” has been reestablished,
and I’m lost again to the ignorance that blinds me from within.

Edited/Revised: No

The night has settled,
and we’re laying our heads to rest.
We exchange blissful kisses,
and snuggle close to sleep side by side.

Sometime later a nightmare wakes me from my sleep,
another vision of losing you leaves me feeling incomplete.
My heart races with fear,and my soul cries out in protest
over the unimaginable thought.

What am I to do?
I love you, and I’m already afraid of losing you.
You’ve broken down the walls inside,
and I’ve never been so vulerable.

I move a lock of your hair from your tranquil face,
and admire how heavely you look against the moonlight.
Laying my head back down,
I unwillingly enter back into sleep and dreams.

Another nightmare shatters my comfort of being next to you,
and I sit up straight, griped by fear, and gasping for air.
There’s morning light outside,
but its’ warmth is a mockery to how I feel inside.

This time it was you and another man - my friend.
You two kissed and hands moved acrossed each other’s flesh.
Your head tilted back in ecstasy, and moans I could softly hear.
Your eyes were empty of emotion save for look of disdain and discord you gave me
(as if I forced you into this).

Oh the rage, the fury,
and worse yet the pain.
I close my eyes again and again,
but the images play on inside my head.

My soul has never felt a greater agony,
my heart has never felt a greater misery,
and all I can do is fall back into myself,
and try to will away the Love of you I cannot ignore.

You wanted me to see this.
You wanted me to feel this. Oh God why?!
Has my fear of Love become so great
that this very fear is undermining us?

I cannot bare another thought, but the dream replays again and again.
My best attempts to forget it all are done so in vain.
Torture for this soul and heart of mine I had long thought dead,
yet is beating strong with the life you’ve breathed back in.

The sun shines through a crack in the curtains
illuminating you in all your intoxicating splendor.
A piece of Heaven molded into body,
lying so contently beside me.

Silent tears fall as I continue to marvel over your sleeping form.
I’m trembling from these thoughts plaguing me.
God, how I wish you’d wake from your sleep now,
and whisper to me everything is going to be okay,
or simply just hold me in your arms.

I lied. I’m not as strong as I proclaimed to be m’dear.
How can you accept this and be satisfied?
Your Love must be misplaced. Perhaps passion has blinded you.
I should cut the bound that holds us so you can be free of all this.

But I cannot play the martyr here!
It’s only been mere moments since I left your side,
and already I long to hold you close again.
To feel your silk soft lips press up against my own,
and the tender caress of your hands that melts away all this darkness!

You stir from your rest,
perhaps your soul heard my own soul’s protest.
You lie awake just long enough to offer a smile
that could melt the coldest of hearts,
before your hand clasps my own and you fall back into your dreams.

I never thought I’d feel like this again.
I’m falling fast and I’m terrified.
All that is of me are the fragments that made up yesterday.
I deny myself and in this I’m still denying you.

Save me from the nothing I’ve become.
I’m frozen inside without your touch.
Bound in chains by these frozen emotions
that have turned my heart numb.

And yet this pain is just to real,
there is just too much that time cannot erase.
Bring me to life my darling, my Light.
Don’t let me live to die like this.

~ Inspired By & Dedicated To: Jessica I.

Edited/Revised: No

Standing at the mirror,
reflecting back at self.
We’ve come full circle,
dear heart and soul of mine.

From dark to light,
until darkness hath fallen again.
Once found, now lost,
self denial of what lies within,

There is no greater sin here.

So open the door you closed,
step through and return to the man you cannot deny.
Fictional fantasy turned reality,
there can be no greater love found inside.

I will carry you when you are weak with doubt.
I will hold your hand so you do not stand alone.
I will kiss away any tears that fall.
I will return to you our salvation.
For I am you, and you are me.
I’m simply the side of self you’ve never let free.

How long will you let our soul cry for deliverance?
How long will you hold us here chained?
How long will you linger in your self misery.
How long have we before this consumes us both?

Give us our freedom.
Reap the indulgence of truth of self!
Accept who we are, release the childhood fears,
and finally have the tranquility you long thought dead.