Romantic Torment
Between the darkminds.com project and this one (romantictorment.com), I must admit I’m spent at the moment. Few hours of sleep and days upon days of work will do that to ya though. I don’t mind. These are passions of mine, and therefore its easy for me to consider them well worth the time investment. It’s hard to believe I’ve accomplished all this in a little over one year, especially when you consider prior to all this I was lost in the MMORPH game called World Of Warcraft for years on end.
“Welcome back to reality, Romantic Torment.” Why, thank you…
So with groundwork established, and the sky seeming to be the limit, I now have to consider marketing strategies and options. Where to go from here? Both of the projects have always been a self-indulgence of sorts, but having worked on both long enough I recall now why I ever began to begin with: creativity and expression. There is something really powerful in a message when someone tells you they’re still writing to this day because darkminds.com or myself have somehow influenced them. It leaves me speechless every time. So, with so much creativity flowing around, I’m beginning to realize that there is a potential for growth and financing in all this that could help support it and my living outside the dull aspects of “a job.” Still, I feel much of this is still speculation and day-dreams. But then again….a little over a year ago both projects were but a “day-dream,” and looking at it now vs. then ….I’m floored.
Now that darkminds.com has thoroughly been flushed out, I feel like I can take a step back and breath. I get a feverish, obsessive, and perfectionist mentality when it comes to a project I love, and can often push myself past exhaustion. Once I’m fully recharged, I have plans to begin pushing forward on promoting this site and darkminds.com, with the hopes to draw more like-minded creativity and souls together. But, for once now, I’m gonna sit back and simply enjoy the fruits of my labor for a lil while. Just ….a’lil while.
- End Transmission
Currently Listening To: “Nothing Else Matters,” by Apocalyptica (original score by Metallica)
Journal Entry: May 30th, 2010
The day was so good, but the night brings me contemplations which I may have been better left without. Some thoughts, no matter the distance, no matter the time, have an amazing way of haunting the mind. (Do they not?) I thought myself numb, and yet these feelings and emotions would have me reconsider. The past rushes to greet me like some lost long friend, while the future torments me with unknown and uncertainty; ever waiting for me to make decisions I’m reluctant to decide. This reminds me of a quote, that went something like: “better to have acted upon a choice, rather to make none at all.” The meaning is there; even if you make a bad choice, it’s ok. It would have been far worse to have made no choice at all. So, knowing this, how do I manage to endure keeping myself chained? I am in dead stagnant waters that are threatening my future, and as tiresomely as I try to awake from the horrible nightmare, somehow, someway, it always seems to drag me back down into its depths of misery and self-loathing. It all seems so trivial and pathetic, and yet here I am the one enduring it. Talk about running around in circles. (heh) I have run out of excuses.
If you haven’t had the opportunity to listen to the song (see above) I’m currently listening to, I highly suggest you take a moment to do so. A blissful remake of a classic Metallica song. I find it so beautiful, breath-taking, and emotionally inspiring that, I’m convinced, left me a poorer soul before discovering it. It relays my current mood in such ways that words cannot. In fact, if words could be jealous, then they would be, for this piece is just that damn impactful and heartily felt. Perhaps there is a message there, that no matter the length of past, present, or future to which I endure to make sense of….ultimately, nothing else matters, as in the present moment.
Enough. I’ve no desire to share more. It’s all just too painful and frustrating, and I want a vacation from all of this. *sighs* G’eve.
A Rose Turned Black, Can Still Dare To Hope
Author: G.C.M. (aka Romantic Torment)
The rose has turned black,
the red has bled out.
This romance is dead,
so painful it turned out.
There are things that you’ve done,
and things that you’ve said
It’s all just too much
to forget and forgive.
It’s hard to image,
your lies brought me comfort.
It’s hard to believe,
your heart was ever sincere.
I gave you everything,
only to be left with nothing.
How could you be so cruel,
when I was always there for you?
Don’t try to deny it,
You pushed us to this.
Don’t try to fight it,
We’re done with this.
And I’ve paid the price,
to see us through.
And now I bare these scars,
for enduring you.
Do you bare any guilt?
Do you feel any remorse at all?
Do you feel pain and regret,
or do you feel nothing at all?
Somehow,
I will survive this
Somehow,
I will absolve this
And breath again (without you)
I’m gonna go,
(I swear)
and leave this all behind.
(I swear)
So I’m through, we’re through!
(I swear)
With bittersweet regrets,
and broken dreams,
A fragile heart
can still dare to hope.
********************
Bound no longer by you,
captivated no longer by you.
I taste my blood.
and see sweet red again.
© 2010 by G.C.M. (aka Romantic Torment)
Time
Author: G.C.M. (aka Romantic Torment)
Time is not consciously cruel,
nor is Time necessarily a friend.
Always a neutral party,
it remains unbiased to the end.
Time, ever enigmatic,
and questionably pragmatic.
Leaves us blind-sighted,
more often then far-sighted.
Builder of dreams,
and destroyer of hopes.
Timely miracles delivered,
yet untimely disasters we must cope.
Eternal heart of lovers be ever guarded,
and youthful souls ever strong as stone.
For given all things their due,
Time shall also, ultimately, find you.
Created, aborted.
Diminished, replenished.
Stardust to life, all things are made;
Death reduces back to ashes, from whence it came.
So, for woe, or for praise.
For the worth of a moment,
or priceless memories to save.
Time will endure all, to insure all.
So spend your borrowed time wisely.
© 2010 by G.C.M. (aka Romantic Torment)
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